Friday, August 6, 2010

A "Just" Life

"I know exactly what my five-year plan is."

Jeni surprised Sara and I in the middle of a conversation about how hard and scary it is to think about life in a five-year plan.

"I know what I want. I want to be living in Arizona, because you can get a great house for way less than here. I want to be married, well, hopefully, and have probably 2 kids by then." She grinned at us guilelessly as we stared a bit, then carefully avoided meeting each others' eyes. Sara cautiously implied that the picture she was painting might be more related to dream than to plan, but Jeni sailed past that warning sign glibly.

Perhaps Jeni got her dream. Some people's dreams seem to work out better than the best-laid plans. But if the dream doesn't work out 5 or 10 years down the road, where do you go? When other people got your dreams, but you're still waiting?

One of the biggest temptations I face when I wander mentally down that road of "why" is the "just" question. Lord, I just wanted ________, is that so much to ask? You gave _______ to __________, why not me?

Fill in the blank with one of your own unfulfilled desires, but they key word is "just." My vision of what my life could be is so small; I "just" want _________.

God wants more than that. He doesn't want "just" _________ for me. He wants things like good, satisfied, rested, joyful, peaceful, passionate. He wants a whole person, who helps others become whole, who help others become whole.

My vision is so small. "Just" isn't enough anymore.

3 comments:

Luz said...

So good, Jana. You really refreshed my soul this morning. As a fellow dreamer, I find it so easy to become myopic in allowing my hopes and dreams become all that I see. Looking back at my own "just" things that God has graciously provided, nothing was "just" given, but masterfully orchestrated. In hindsight, there was so much more than I could have ever anticipated or asked for. And what a blow to my pride that is. Thanks, friend.

Shiv Katall said...

It's easy to get stuck in our own plans. And oddly enough, even God has shown us our plan is inferior to his, we still want it on our own time. Thanks for the post. It has helped me clear my head in a period of waiting.

Sporter said...

great entry. just wonderful.